The Butterfly Path: 5 Stages of Tazkiyah from Survival to Spiritual Thriving

The soul’s return to Allah ﷻ mirrors the quiet miracle of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.

Hidden. Mysterious. Transformative. And so very personal.

The caterpillar is meant to simply obey its fitrah, to surrender to what feels like an end and emerge in a body that’s no longer built for crawling.

It can now fly.

It can now see UV light that helps guide it to food because it no longer eats what it once craved.

It now tastes with its feet, discerning its nourishment based on where it lands.

It now has a purpose bigger than itself. As a pollinator, it spreads the blessings it receives to others.

It’s a new creation. Detached from its past.

This is the nature of tazkiyah.

It doesn’t make you better at your old life.

It makes you outgrow it entirely.

You’re not just healing. You’re becoming.

And not just any version of yourself but the version that trusts Allah ﷻ as He deserves to be trusted, sees with clarity, and flies in the direction of Jannah with purpose.

The path from survival to surrender isn’t linear.

You don’t ascend in perfect lines.

It comes in phases.

Hidden ones.

Slow ones.

Ones where you're crying on the prayer mat and ones where you're breathing again, without guilt, performance, paralyzing fear, or exhaustion.

I call this process The Butterfly Path.

And it’s not a theoretical framework.

It’s the lived reality of my own return to Allah ﷻ and the journey I now walk other women through, one stage at a time.

Your return to Allah ﷻ is the greatest story of your life. Let’s trace its flight path, stage by stage.

If you’ve felt stuck somewhere between knowing and becoming…

Between surviving and thriving or controlling and surrendering…

If you long to live fully from the soul, not the nafs then I pray this gives you some clarity.

﷽

Stage 1: Caterpillar to Chrysalis

Establishing Safety & Trust in Allah, Then Internal Commitment

You’re in survival mode. Constantly bracing, over-functioning, and anxiously holding your breath just to get through the day.

Taking care of yourself feels like a luxury you can’t afford. You’ve been neglecting many parts of your personal life because there’s no capacity left to do more than survive.

Spiritually, your connection to Allah ﷻ might feel distant or strained. You want to trust Him, but survival has made self-reliance your default. This is the stage where your body, your heart, and your soul are crying out for safety. But not the kind the dunya promises. The kind only Allah ﷻ can provide.

You know you can’t thrive until you feel secure in Him.

This is the beginning of your tazkiyah.

When you choose to stop running and finally start rooting instead.

Signs You’re in the Caterpillar Stage

• You feel spiritually disconnected, yet still make efforts out of fear of falling off entirely, even if it’s just duas.

• You crave stillness and depth, but don’t feel safe enough to slow down.

• You resist surrender because you fear the unknown.

• You default to self-reliance because you only trust what you see and understand.

• You think you “should” be doing more, but you can’t seem to move.

• You escape through busyness, work, and distractions.

• Your current life feels too far away from the woman on your vision board.

• You struggle with consistency, self-trust, and a mean inner voice.

• You fear self-awareness because of the emotions that arise when looking at your faults and traumas.

• You’re afraid to make changes or take action because you question if it’ll be “worth it”.

• You love the world and are attached to what it offers.

• You’re emotionally reactive and get offended/triggered quickly.

• You get discouraged, upset, or complain when your plans are changed by things outside of your control.

• You believe that when life is good Allah is pleased with you and when faced with hardship, it is a punishment.

• You may experience anxiety, hypervigilance, emotional avoidance or exhaustion.

• Your mind races with “what ifs”, to do’s, and it struggles to rest.

• You’re aware of your need for Allah ﷻ but unsure how to lean into Him.

• You infrequently connect with the Qur’an.

The caterpillar is the default stage. We all start off here. Everything we’ve experienced and “learned” from those experiences have contributed to the reasons us humans struggle with tawakkul.

Some people spend their entire lives as caterpillars — just surviving. Too afraid to choose better for themselves or too attached to the dunya.

But we all have the freedom to choose the Straight Path.

Signs You’re Ready to Go into The Chrysalis

• You’ve had a wake up call and are determined to have a relationship with Allah ﷻ.

• You’ve tried healing with dunya methods but are now ready to heal with Allah ﷻ because you want to heal for good.

• Your gut says, “there’s so much more to me. I have so much more to offer.”

• You’re exhausted and can’t stand the pain of staying where you are.

• You’re afraid to let go of control but you want to learn how anyway.

• You’re reading the Qur’an and trying to remember and connect with Allah ﷻ, even inconsistently.

• You try to obey Allah ﷻ and feel remorse when you fall short.

• You’re becoming aware of your actions and how they affect those around you.

💭 Reflect:

• Where have you been trusting in your own efforts more than the provision of Allah ﷻ?

• What would it mean to “enter into Islam completely”? Not just externally, but emotionally and internally?

• What part of you is still crawling when Allah ﷻ is calling you to hang still and trust?

• What have you been bracing yourself for?

• How might your heart begin to feel safe in Allah’s care?

Stage 2: The Chrysalis

Muhasabah, Seeking Knowledge, Detox

You’ve said yes to change and made the decision: I can’t keep living like this.

So you retreat inward, wrapping yourself in a protective shell out of necessity, not fear. You’re no longer the caterpillar you once were, but you’re not yet the butterfly either.

This is the sacred space of muhasabah. Of pulling away from the noise, reassessing who you are, and taking accountability without shame. Through boundaries, isolation, or intentional quiet, you’ve created a chrysalis around yourself to protect you while you do the inner work.

This is the season of self-awareness, unlearning, repentance, and vulnerability. You're learning to be honest with Allah ﷻ by being honest with yourself in His presence.

It’s uncomfortable, even lonely at times. But you know this is what’s needed.

You may be shedding people, habits, and mindsets you once depended on. You’re committed to healing now, but you’re also confronting the mess that survival left behind. You’re fragile but determined. Still. Quiet. Growing.

And though it’s slow, Allah ﷻ sees every ounce of your effort in this hidden stage.

Signs You’re in the Chrysalis Stage

• You feel pulled toward solitude — not out of depression, but out of clarity and the need to remove external influences so you can hear your gut.

• You ask for guidance but don’t understand how Allah ﷻ communicates with you.

• You’ve set new boundaries that others might not understand.

• You’re revisiting old wounds with a desire to heal, not just cope.

• You’re less tolerable of sin.

• You’re taking action, even when you don’t fully know what’s next.

• You’re shedding habits, relationships, and self-concepts that displease Allah ﷻ.

• You crave sincerity more than aesthetics — in your ibadah, your lifestyle, and your relationships.

• You may feel vulnerable, exposed, or uncertain.

• There’s a tension between resistance and surrender.

• You might feel disconnected from your usual sources of comfort.

• Spiritual dryness or doubt may visit you as you shed old layers.

💭 Reflect:

• What patterns, beliefs, or relationships are melting away inside your chrysalis?

• What are you being invited to release, even if it feels scary or unknown?

• In what ways are you beginning to see yourself as you truly are, not who you were in survival?

• Are you willing to remain hidden and held while Allah ﷻ reforms you from the inside out?

• What do you hope to emerge with once this sacred stillness is over?

Stage 3: The Emerging Butterfly

Fully Shedding the Survival Identity & Learning How to Fly

You’ve broken free from the shell. You’re no longer in hiding. You’ve changed drastically, and the old identity no longer fits. But you still catch yourself thinking and reacting like a caterpillar. Like the version of you who had to be in control, on edge, or constantly bracing.

You’ve done the work, but something still feels off.

You’ve grown, but you haven’t yet become.

You can fly now but you’re not used to flying so it’s unsteady and aimless. Your old mental blocks, limiting beliefs, and default behaviors keep pulling you back down and distracting you.

This stage is about shifting from struggle to alignment. From forcing to trusting.

You’re being invited into a new kind of ease. One that is rooted in surrender, not forcing. In allowing, not proving.

You’re not trying to go back to what was. You’re trying to live forward but you’re still figuring out what that looks like for you and how to get it.

This is a tender stage because it’s the bridge between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming.

Signs You’re in the Emerging Butterfly Stage

• You’ve outgrown your old life, but haven’t yet stepped fully into the new one.

• You feel like you’re in limbo, not making any actual progress forward. Guilt or frustration sometimes arises over not being enough.

• You’re over explaining, overthinking, and overreacting.

• Defaulting to control when the future feels uncertain.

• Defaulting to people pleasing at your own expense.

• Feeling guilty resting or unable to due to high stress levels.

• Your beliefs have shifted, but your nervous system still clings to old defaults because you’re struggling to replace old habits with new, lasting ones.

• You’ve been fully practicing in your deen and doing “all the right things,” but you still feel drained, stuck in fear, self-doubt, scarcity, or discontentment.

• You push through exhaustion, pour into everyone else, and carry guilt for not doing more.

• You’re still get triggered or offended by others fairly often.

• Yearning to trust fully but feeling held back.

• Experiencing moments of spiritual clarity, followed by doubt or relapse.

💭 Reflect:

• What parts of you are still wired for struggle, even though Allah ﷻ has already brought you out of survival?

• Where are you relying on yourself when you could be leaning on Allah ﷻ?

• What would it feel like to be eased into ease through faith and not force?

• What habits or beliefs are keeping you tied to who you used to be and blocking your connection to your dream self?

Stage 4: The Pollinating Butterfly

Thriving in Tawakkul, Purpose & Femininity

You’re no longer healing just to survive, you’re ready to live.

To show up as your dream self: the version of you that gives her body its rights, uses her gifts, and contributes to the ummah with presence and purpose.

You’re ready to embrace ease.

Not the comfort zone kind but the kind Allah ﷻ promises to those who rely on Him.

You’re tired of pushing for others and neglecting yourself. Now, you want to prioritize you so you can be open to the abundance of Allah’s mercy and serve from its overflow. Spreading light and goodness wherever you go, like pollen.

You want to live a life that nourishes you spiritually, emotionally, and physically. A life that honors your values and your fitrah. You’re no longer chasing success or hustling to prove yourself. You’re ready to build something that can outlive you from a place of sincerity, alignment, and barakah.

You're learning to receive.

To take up space.

To rest without guilt.

To fly in the direction Allah ﷻ is calling you, not the direction others expect.

You’ve realized tawakkul isn’t just for crisis. It’s for creativity. For exploration. For thriving.

Signs you’re a Pollinating Butterfly:

• You begin to pour into your weaknesses. You pour into the areas of your personal life that would allow your transformation to overflow into your relationships, your work, and your presence.

• You don’t want to rush anymore.

• You want to live intentionally. Spiritually. Fully.

• You’re continually seeking knowledge of Allah ﷻ.

• You don’t just want to fly, you want to pollinate. To leave behind goodness, healing, and light in every space you enter. You’re wanting to build something that extends beyond yourself.

• You want your da’wah to be in how you live. How you walk. How you trust.

💭 Reflect:

• What’s the legacy you want to leave in your family? Your community? In the ummah?

• What spaces in your life need to be aligned with your akhirah-first values?

• How can you pour into yourself more? What rights to your body have you been neglecting?

• What kind of woman do you want to be remembered as in this world? How do you want Allah ﷻ to see you?

• Where is Allah ﷻ calling you to slow down and receive?

Stage 5: The Butterfly Effect

Becoming Who Allah Intended

You’re no longer striving to become her — you are her.

Your dream self and your current self are aligned, by the mercy of Allah ﷻ. You show up for your life with small, intentional choices that reflect who you are at your core. Your habits, character, and responses aren’t perfect, but they are pure. Sincere. Intentional. Submitted.

You don’t force, you go with the flow of life.

You don’t perform or pretend because you’re confident in your identity.

You simply live for Allah’s pleasure and proximity.

Your nafs is no longer reactive, but refined. No longer neglected or indulged, but surrendered and nurtured. And you continue purifying it out of love.

You’ve become a woman of presence.

A woman of shukr and contentment with whatever Allah ﷻ wills.

Your life is a ripple of everything Allah ﷻ has healed in you. You don’t need to prove that you’ve changed. You don’t need the world to notice. Allah sees you. And that’s enough.

Your character, your presence, your worship, your work — it all becomes dhikr.

Your ease is not detachment or escapism.

It’s proof that a life built on submission is the truest form of peace.

You’re now:

• A woman of dhikr in private and public — in thought, speech, and action

• Led by the nafs al-muṭma’inna, striving with ihsan in what matters

• Building a legacy not from visibility, but from sincerity

• Giving each day its due, and leaving the outcome to Allah ﷻ

• A living testimony of what tawakkul and tazkiyah can make possible

• Setting boundaries to protect your energy.

• Prioritizing spiritual and physical self-care.

• Living with intention and presence in every moment.

• Inspiring others by simply being.

• Continuously nurturing your heart with dhikr and reflection.

• Leading by example without effort.

• Open to mistakes and learning from experiences. You’re quick to apologize and take accountability when wrong and quick to forgive.

• Trusting that Allah ﷻ multiplies your impact beyond your sight.

• Fully embodying your role as a servant of Allah ﷻ unapologetically.

So… What Stage Are You In?

What part of the Butterfly Path are you in right now? (For posts more specific to your stage, reply to this email and tell me which one or two stages you see yourself in).

What resonated? What felt tender or uncomfortable?

Wherever you are, trust it.

You’re not behind.

You’re not broken.

It’s not too late.

Allah ﷻ has always known the exact pace of your transformation so you couldn’t be anywhere other than where you are right now.

But you don’t have to stay where you are.

If you’re not ready for a new way of being yet; a life of rest, trust, and tawakkul with Him, that’s okay. Pray for His assistance and guidance to get you there.

But if you saw yourself in one or more of these stages and feel ready to travel along your path of tazkiyah with spiritual support, depth, and clarity then I’d love to fly with you.

🦋Fly the Butterfly Path With Me

✨ Learn more about my coaching program and apply for a free tazkiyah session and begin your journey into the life Allah ﷻ intends for you.

Assalamu alaikum, until next time, in sha Allah

—Khalisa