How to Finally Get Out of Survival Mode

Survival mode doesn’t always look like chaos. Sometimes, it’s a chronic striving. A quiet panic. A loud mind. A constant tension in the body.

There’s a disconnection between what you know and how you feel. How you act. You want to feel safe with Allah ﷻ in a way that actually slows your heart down and clears your mind. But to get out of survival mode, you can’t just regulate your body. You have to also realign your soul and rewire your mind.

Here’s how:

﷽

1. Hold Onto the Qur’an Like a Rope

The Qur’an isn’t just a book to read, it’s a rope Allah ﷻ tells us to hold onto.

It’s meant to guide and support you, keep you from slipping, and provide stability so you can climb up as you grow. When survival mode takes over, you need to use the Qur’an, not just read it.

• Recite it when you’re emotionally dysregulated.

• Listen to it when you’re too exhausted to read.

• Reflect on it slowly, like an instruction manual you don’t want to misunderstand.

• Write down the verses that apply to your current season and place them where you’ll actually see them—on your nightstand, your refrigerator, your mirror, your phone lock screen.

Let them be your reminders when the world is too loud.

But don’t stop there.

Start collecting Allah’s promises.

Every time you come across one—where He says what He will do for the believer, the grateful, the reliant—write it down (so it doesn’t get lost in your screenshots and notes app).

Put them on flashcards. Memorize them. Tape them to your wall. Keep them close so your heart doesn’t forget what Allah ﷻ promises and to serve as a reminder that He never breaks His word.

Your safety isn’t in your circumstances. It’s in His promises.

2. Deepen Your Trust by Knowing Who He Is—to You

Tawakkul requires knowledge because it increases iman and yaqeen, not blind hope. So the more you know Allah ﷻ, the easier it becomes to trust and surrender to Him.

Of course, the surest way of doing that is by learning and connecting with Allah’s Names, but we can take it even further.

Here are two exercises to help establish safety with Who Allah ﷻ is:

1. Create a divine speed dial.
   Think of the top three struggles in your life right now. Then go through the 99 Names of Allah and pick the Names that speak to each struggle.
   Memorize those Names. Let them become the ones you instinctively call out in your du’as.
   “Allah has the Most Beautiful Names—so call upon Him by them.” (7:180)

2. Remind yourself of Who showed up.
   We know to call on Allah ﷻ whenever we need Him, but we often don’t reflect on Who it was that answered our pleas and cries for help.
   Think back to a few times you called on Allah ﷻ during a hardship.
   List the hardship.
   Then list the Names of Allah ﷻ that helped you through it.
   “Help does not come except from Allah.” (8:10)

When you call on Allah ﷻ by His Names, treating them like a contact list you choose from before anyone else—your tawakkul increases.
When you remember Who showed up for you every time you needed Him—your tawakkul increases.

When you see your history with Him clearly, your heart begins to trust more easily. And you start to pray like someone who knows she’ll be answered because she knows that Al-Mujeeb always responds.

(Here’s a list for your convenience: https://myislam.org/99-names-of-allah/)

3. Relearn What the Pain Was Really For

One reason survival mode lingers is because we’ve misinterpreted the pain we’ve been through. Shaytan uses trauma to teach false lessons. He whispers meanings that cut you off from hope in order to deceive you about Who Allah ﷻ is.

You can either allow the dunya to be your teacher or Allah ﷻ.

Think of a painful experience that still affects you, shaping how you think, speak, or treat others. Then ask yourself:
“What did Shaytan want me to learn from this experience?”

For instance, if you’ve gone through a divorce, Shaytan and society might want you to believe:

• Love and marriage are a joke.

• You won’t find love again, or you’re unworthy of it.

• Marriage isn’t for you.

• Marriage changes people.

• Marriage restricts individuality and freedom.

• Marriage is old school and outdated.

• Real love doesn’t exist anymore.

Then ask the real question:
“What did Allah ﷻ want me to learn from this experience?”

Looking at the divorce example again—Allah ﷻ may have wanted you to learn that:

• Marriage is a sacred union that can only succeed with Allah ﷻ at its core and when both are willing to grow and improve personally.

• Allah ﷻ is the best matchmaker, as He knows what’s in every heart, so whoever is truly for you can never pass you by. And every lover is worthy of love.

• Marriage is for those who wish to serve and support one another; many aspects of marriage are acts of sadaqah.

• Marriage is meant to refine and transform us in beneficial ways.

• Both spouses have rights and roles, designed to support and complement one another, not to erase individuality.

• Islam is timeless, and its guidance on marriage is enduring.

• Real love exists because it is Allah ﷻ Who places love in the heart, and He gives it to whomever He wills.

If you struggle to find the lessons behind a traumatic experience, sometimes the only beneficial takeaway is this:

• The dunya doesn’t love you or want what’s best for you.

• It doesn’t protect you.

• It doesn’t reward you the way Allah ﷻ does.

• It’s not your home.

• And it’s not designed to fulfill you, only to disappoint you when you place your trust and hopes in it.

So let hardship soften you toward Allah ﷻ, not harden you toward life.
That shift alone begins to unravel survival mode.

4. Choose Allah’s Word Over What You See

You’ll find that there are many times in life where your senses will deceive you.
You’ll look at your situation and everything in your body will scream:

You’re not safe.
This isn’t going to work.
Run.
You have to make a way out.

But this is exactly where you must decide:
Do I believe what I see or do I believe what Allah ﷻ says?

From the outside, it looks like it’s the birds’ wings, their ability, and physics that keep them in the air.
But Allah ﷻ says no. It’s Him.
If He didn’t want them to fly, no science, no willpower, and no wings could make them.

This life works the same way.
It is, after all, an illusion.

You might think your income, effort, intellect, or strength is what’s holding you up or carrying you through but it’s not.
Allah ﷻ is.

And when He wants to elevate you, nothing in your situation can stop it.
But when He’s testing your trust, you may not see the next step until your foot is already in motion.

You have to accept that your senses—what you see and feel, what you fear and perceive—don’t always tell the whole story.
If what you’re experiencing contradicts what Allah ﷻ says in the Qur’an, go with the Qur’an because it’s always right.

It’s not delusional to trust Him.
It’s more delusional to trust your trauma, your senses, or your limited understanding over revelation.

Many believe that seeing is believing.
But for the believer—believing is seeing.

You have to learn to see through the illusion of danger.
To know you are, in fact, safe with Allah ﷻ even when everything around you says otherwise.

For instance:

After my separation, there was a two week period where I had the keys to my new apartment but I didn’t move in.
My son was three years old, and I needed him to be comfortable.
If it were just me, I would’ve made it work. But I couldn’t do that to him.
He was already leaving the only home he’d ever known, and I just wanted the transition to be smooth.

And I was a stay-at-home mom with no income.
So I kept waiting. For the right conditions, the right timing, the right support.

For months, I had prayed tahajjud, begging Allah ﷻ to rescue me.
I asked Him not to let me spend another birthday in that house.

Now I had the keys. I could leave. But… could I?
I didn’t have food. I didn’t even have kitchenware to cook with.
I was starting completely over and my list of needs was long.
And my fear kept whispering:
You’re not ready.
It’s not time.
It’s not enough.

But two ayat kept echoing louder than the fear:
“If they choose to separate, Allah will enrich both of them from His bounties.” (4:130)
“Do not kill your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you.” (17:31)

That last part—“We provide for them and for you”—held me up.
I clung to His promise of abundance through separation.

Three days before my birthday, I decided to move in, mashaAllah.
We had only my son’s crib, my faulty air mattress, our clothes, and a few toys and essentials.

I had more questions than answers but I knew one thing for sure:
Allah ﷻ wouldn’t call me to something and then abandon me in it.

For nine months, I hadn’t asked anyone but Allah ﷻ for help.
And after He opened doors for me that literally appeared out of nowhere, my gut told me it was time to ask my family.

By His permission and provision, they showed up and filled our home with what we needed to be comfortable.

If I had trusted my senses and the perception of my situation over what Allah ﷻ told me in the Qur’an,
I would’ve still been there on my 29th birthday.
And I probably would’ve believed Allah ﷻ didn’t answer my du’a when in reality, it would’ve been me who didn’t trust Him enough to move.
I would’ve called it qadr but really, it would’ve been fear masked as sabr.

But I moved before I was ready.
Before my situation looked safe.
And I landed where I was meant to be.

And Ar-Razzaq provided for my son and me, just like He said He would.

5. Fear Isn’t Always a Spiritual Problem

One of the most misunderstood parts of tawakkul is the idea that you’re not allowed to feel fear.
But fear isn’t always doubt. Sometimes, it’s just your body doing what it’s always done: try to protect you.
If you look at the majority of self-sabotaging behaviors, it’s actually your brain trying to protect you with the defense mechanisms it’s always used.

Which is why you have to teach your body the correct ways to protect you, especially if you’ve lived for years in survival mode.

Even Prophet Musa (AS), when facing Pharaoh’s magicians, felt fear:
“So Musa felt a fear within himself.” (20:67)

And what did Allah ﷻ do?
He didn’t rebuke him.
He reassured him:
“Do not be afraid. You will have the upper hand.” (20:68)

That moment is a mercy for anyone whose body trembles even while their heart believes.
Feeling fear is not a sign that your faith is failing.
It’s a sign that your nervous system is still learning how to feel safe in the presence of trust.
It’s being rewired.

The problem isn’t feeling fear.
The problem is sitting in it and letting it decide your next step.
Survival mode says: Stop. Run. Fight.
Tawakkul says: Surrender and move anyway.

Trusting in Allah’s protection and plan despite never fully feeling ready or having all the answers.

6. Safety Must Live in the Body, Too

Spiritual healing isn’t complete without physical regulation.
Your body is part of your worship, as the Prophet ﷺ said,
“Your body has a right over you.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5199)

Your nervous system affects your salah, your du’a, and your ability to truly feel gratitude.
You can’t live in tawakkul if your body is flooded with stress and overstimulation.

Shaytan overwhelms the senses to keep you out of presence.

Here are some ways to regain it:

• Don’t just rush through the day. Slow it down.

  • Walk slower. It shows your body that there’s nothing to run from.

  • Talk slower, especially in disagreements—it helps maintain composure and signals to your brain that you’re safe.

  • Breathe slower and deeper. Try the physiological sigh (two inhales, one long exhale). It worked very well for my panic attacks.

  • Eat slower. Chew more, it’s Sunnah.

  • Read slower. Read to connect.

• Reduce your screen time. Live offline in the world Al-Khaliq created.

• Move your body. Walking is amazing and believe it or not, household chores count too.

• Go outside, even if it’s just to sit in the sun for five minutes.

• When your body tenses up (holding breath, clenched shoulders, tight jaw), release it as soon as you notice.

• Reduce/stop multitasking. I know this one’s hard but really try it, even for just a few weeks.

  • Cook without listening to a podcast.

  • Eat without watching tv.

  • Have a conversation without scrolling.

  • Play with your kids without thinking about work.

  • Walk without being on the phone.

    Be in the moment. See it for what it is: A day you won’t see again. Alhamdulillah.

    The only multitasking I do now is dhikr while doing some of those things.

Life moves so fast that it tricks you into believing everything is urgent. But trust me, most things can wait until you’ve taken care of yourself.

Rest and regulation aren’t indulgent.
They’re ibadah.
They make room for stillness so your heart can remember Allah ﷻ more fully.

7. Everyone Benefits from the Calm Version of You

I knew my son deserved a mother who wasn’t just physically present—but mentally and emotionally present.
One who’s soft. Patient. Playful. And at ease.
He has rights over me, and I couldn’t fulfill them well while stuck in survival mode.

And alhamdulillah, Allah ﷻ guided me out of it.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re already in the middle of being guided out too.
This moment, right now, is a sign that He’s pulling you through.

So the question isn’t “How do I stop being afraid?”
The real question is:
Do I stop or do I continue?

Because Allahu Akbar, your Lord is greater than anything you’re afraid of.

So breathe through the fear.
Walk through the fog.
And call on Allah ﷻ the way Musa (AS) did when he threw down the staff he once leaned on for support and saw it turn into a sign of Allah’s power.

When you stop relying on your own strength, when you live la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah you stop carrying fear alone.
Instead, you ask Allah ﷻ to strengthen you through it.

And He will.

Assalamu alaikum, until next time, insha Allah.
—Khalisa

Learn more about my private tazkiyah coaching program here