From Dua to Reality: How to Align Your Inner Self With What You’re Asking Allah For

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This essay is part two of last week’s post. Really, it’s part of a whole series, almost like an email course on how to change what’s within ourselves so that we can step into the duas we’re asking for.

I’ve done this process many times in my own life, and alhamdulillah, I’ve seen my duas answered in remarkable ways. Each time, it shows me that I can ask even bigger. My current dua, for example, is not so impossible at face value: to migrate to Dallas, TX for the sake of Allah ﷻ and raise my son in a large Muslim community that we can both grow in and contribute to.

So what’s the challenge? It’s not the what but the how.

I want to build my coaching business without using social media. Not even YouTube. Just my blog and Pinterest. Most content creators and entrepreneurs would say that that’s impossible. And honestly, I myself doubted it. About a year ago, I asked Allah ﷻ for it, but somewhere along the way, I caved and thought I needed at least Threads. Many of you found me there, but I eventually stopped posting because I felt like I was watering myself down. I was producing just for the sake of producing and feeding into short attention spans and a culture of consuming without applying.

That’s not the kind of contribution I want to make to the ummah. I want to offer something real, tangible, and lasting. A transformation that is guaranteed not because of me, but because of the One who always keeps His promises.

So in this second article, we’re talking about how to step into our duas by becoming the woman who can actually hold them and the woman who can move toward them with radical tawakkul.

Before You Begin

If you haven’t done the exercises from part one, please start there. This series is designed to go in order. And remember: just because a new lesson comes out each week doesn’t mean you have to keep up with the pace. If you need to slow down, then listen to your life. Stay at one step for as long as you need. Depth is the priority, not speed.

Right now, I’m offering this as an email course because I’m experimenting with the format. I intend to offer it as a monthly group masterclass later. If there’s another format you want to see this in, let me know, I love hearing from you.

Trusting Allah with the “How”

Last week we talked about making a “dua sandwich.” Once you’ve done that, you no longer have to make the dua again unless you feel it heavy on your heart or you have even more conviction than when you last asked. Otherwise, trust that it has been received and is on its way to you.

So leave your duas with Allah ﷻ and then start living in the end. Living each day in preparation for the arrival of your prayer.

This means defining the woman you are stepping into, then choosing to be her each day.

Remember, every external change comes only by Allah’s permission and provision. That’s His domain, not ours. Our work is to change what is within.

And sometimes that looks like Hajar, running back and forth between the same two hills. To us, it may seem repetitive or pointless to continue searching in a place that’s already been searched. But efficiency isn’t the point; it’s all about obedience and movement. Your personal Zamzam may spring from the very place you thought was barren and all you had to do was keep moving, trusting that it would appear once you’ve shown that you’re ready for it.

Defining the Woman You’re Becoming

In your notebook, describe your dream self.

• How does she think?

• How does she speak?

• How does she respond in confrontation?

• What does she prioritize?

• How does she regulate her emotions?

• How would she introduce herself? Not with roles, titles, or possessions, but with character traits.

• How do you want people to speak about you when you’re not in the room?

This is identity work. It’s more than habits, it’s about your very being. About the station and rank you want with Allah ﷻ.

Now, compare yourself as you are today to her.

• In what ways are you already like her?

• In what ways are you different?

• What beliefs, traits, or skills need strengthening? What needs to go entirely?

• What habits, thoughts, or emotions need to shift?

Chances are, as you do these exercises you’ll find that she isn’t entirely different. She’s most likely just more consistent than you are right now and that’s good news.

If she does still feel far, then don’t worry, this is only the beginning of the course. Stay hopeful.

The answers are already within you.

Your dream self is your fitrah, and she is your higher self. It often feels so difficult to change certain beliefs or habits because the you, you are today, has one advantage over your dream self: repetition. It has simply existed for longer.

But what’s beautiful is that our brains can rewire. It just needs the reps.

It’s always hardest in the beginning because your lower self doesn’t want to die. It doesn’t want to be overpowered, trained, and in submission to the will of Allah ﷻ. It wants comfort and familiarity. So in order to feed your higher self, you have to starve the lower one. (We’ll get into this more next week, insha Allah.)

Cultivating Praiseworthy Traits

Last week, we looked at blameworthy traits. This week, we have to also talk about their opposites: the praiseworthy traits that Imam Al-Ghazali listed. These are not optional extras; they’re the standards of excellence every Muslim is expected to strive for.

Copy the list below into your notebook so that you can refer to it quickly throughout the rest of this course.

Praiseworthy traits include:

• patience

• gratitude

• fear and hope in Allah

• contentment in Allah

• abstinence

• piety

• sufficiency in Allah

• open-handedness

• recognition of the grace of Allah in all states

• excellence (ihsan)

• thinking well of people and of Allah

• good character

• good mutual relationships

• truthfulness

• sincerity

Imam al-Ghazali explained that this also includes realizing the realities behind these states, their limits, the causes by which they are obtained, their fruits and identifying signs, and the means of remedying weaknesses until they regain their strength.

Look at the traits you already embody, then choose one area to strengthen more consistently.

Don’t try to tackle multiple life areas at once.

Look at what’s causing the most harm to you and/or your relationships.

If you see that your tongue is a major issue (gossip, criticism, finding faults, etc.) then focus on reducing and reforming the actions of your tongue before anything else.

Small, intentional tweaks create transformation.

The Three Non-Negotiables

To stay grounded in this process, there are three non-negotiables for the next three months:

1. Review your duas daily.
   This world will continue to take your time, energy, and attention, so you’ll have to be vigilant and protect yourself from busyness. If you stay distracted and drained long enough, you’ll forget what you’re working towards.

2. Engage with Qur’an and knowledge every day.
   Imam al-Ghazali wrote: “The heart, when it is deprived of wisdom for three days, dies.” Don’t let more than three days pass without reading and reflecting on the Qur’an or acquiring knowledge of deen. This strengthens yaqeen and iman, which makes your steps firm even when they are small.

3. Learn to genuinely love where you are.
   You don’t need more goals, not more discipline, not more ibadah. Just more love. Loving what you have, loving where you are in life, loving what you’ve learned, loving the extra weight, the under-eye bags, loving the challenges because you love Who gave them to you, and you trust that His intentions for you are all good.

Love and gratitude transform the waiting and your perception of life.

We are not asking Allah ﷻ out of lack. We already have everything.

We ask because He commands us to, because He loves when we ask, and because He loves to give.

Al-Wadood’s perfect love reminds me that for us as servants, love cannot be reduced to just an emotion. It is a state of being, something that fuses with our identity when we surrender to Him and His will, allowing its powerful emotions to flow through us and our actions. Choosing love helps to pull you out of lower-level emotions that can lead to blameworthy traits and acts.

You can use a simple habit tracker for these to make sure they stay top of mind.

Choosing Goals with Allah’s Help

Over the next three months, choose one or two goals to focus on. Honestly, you already have one. Which is changing what is within yourself so now you just need one more that directly connects to the big dua you’re praying for.

If the dua still feels too big, just break it down. Make the next steps as small as you need to in order to get moving.

If you stay consistent, you’ll enter 2026 set up to thrive, inwardly and outwardly.

And ask Allah ﷻ to help you keep your promises, not just to others, but to yourself. Because He loves those who are true to their word.

Every day, you’re getting closer to your true feminine fitrah. Every day you’re getting closer to aligning your identity with your duas. Remind yourself of that frequently.

It’s All in the Feeling

Anchor your duas not in how you expect them to look, but in how you want to feel when they’re fulfilled. This frees you from desperation. Helping you to detach from the neediness in the waiting.

Your only responsibility is to purify your heart and intentions, keep moving, and stay consistent in becoming the woman who can hold what she’s asking for. Allah ﷻ has already guaranteed the rest.

Next week, insha Allah, we’ll dive into removing friction, detaching blameworthy qualities from our identity, and replacing them with their praiseworthy counterparts in a way that is realistic and sustainable.

If you have any questions at all, reply to this email!

Assalamu alaikum, with love and dua,

—Khalisa

Your dream self isn’t a fairytale. She’s your fitrah.

Learn more about my private coaching program here.