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Being A Revert Feels Like...
A Love Letter to Islam
Khalisa
October 08, 2024 • Estimated Reading Time: 9 minutes
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Being a revert feels like rediscovery.
Like life has been turned right side up and you’re finally seeing everything the way Allah intended for it to be seen.
Though the flood of new information is sometimes overwhelming.
Behold! in the creation of the heavens and the earth; in the alternation of the Night and the Day; in the sailing of the ships through the Ocean for the profit of mankind; in the rain which Allah sends down from the skies, and the life which He gives therewith to an earth that is dead; in the beasts of all kinds that He scatters through the earth; in the change of the winds, and the clouds which they Trail like their slaves between the sky and the earth;—(Here) indeed are Signs for a people that are wise.
Being a revert feels like loss.
Mourning the past versions of yourself prior to Islam.
Facing your traumas so you can learn to unlearn the bad habits they taught you.
Removing and healing the parts of yourself that are standing between you and Allah سبحانه وتعالى.
Allah will not leave the believers in the state in which ye are now, until He separates what is evil from what is good nor will He disclose to you the secrets of the Unseen. But He chooses of His Messengers (For the purpose) whom He pleases. So believe in Allah. And His messengers: And if ye believe and do right, ye have a reward without measure.
Being a revert feels like wonder
You read the Quran to learn more about the One who knows you best.
The One who has saved you so many times despite you not knowing His True Identity.
Curious of the home beyond this dunya that Allah سبحانه وتعالى has promised you.
To wonder what it’s like to be loved by The Most Loving - ٱلْوَدُودُ. To feel His Love.
سُبْحَانَ ٱللَّٰهِ.
He is the Oft-Forgiving, Full of Loving-Kindness
Being a revert feels like distance
You’re in awe of this new lifestyle, and the mind blowing things you find in the Quran, and the clear signs you receive from Allah.
You’re so proud that you’ve memorized your prayers in Arabic and that you’ve mustered up the courage to be a hijabi مَا شَاءَ ٱللَّٰهُ but - no one else cares.
They don’t understand the feeling or the effort.
No more celebrating Christian holidays with family and friends or dressing up for Halloween or blowing out birthday candles.
Or the other things that used to be fun that aren’t anymore, ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ
The closer you get to Allah the further you may get from those around you.
By no means shall ye attain righteousness unless ye give (freely) of that which ye love; and whatever ye give, of a truth God knoweth it well.
Being a revert feels like possibility
Possibility of a life on this earth that’s peaceful and purposeful.
Full of countless blessings.
The possibility of being a version of you that is healthy and whole.
Your future is brightest with Allah سبحانه وتعالى in it.
Your loneliness no longer feels like isolation. It feels like new beginnings and traditions forming.
That loneliness was to comfort you and call you closer to Allah سبحانه وتعالى.
Forcing you to confide in and rely on Him only.
That loneliness was an invitation.
If Allah findeth any good in your hearts, He will give you something better than what has been taken from you, and He will forgive you: for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
Being a revert feels like fear
Fear that you’ll lose the greatest love you’ve ever known if you don’t return His love by willingly fulfilling His Rights.
Fear of Allah’s wrath and His absence and the darkness that follows.
Fear of your family’s eternal fate because they don’t believe or are unwilling to learn about Islam.
Fear that you’re not doing enough and that death will take you before you’ve had the chance to add good to your scales; to make a difference.
Plus the added pressure to do right - now that you have Islam and there’s no excuse for not knowing better.
But whosoever turns away from My Message, verily for him is a life narrowed down, and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Judgment.
Being a revert feels like direction.
You finally have the answers you couldn’t find anywhere else.
You now know without a doubt what the purpose of this life is and what’s the end goal.
Making it that much easier to live a life of service by aligning your passions with them.
This clarity makes Jannah seem prayerfully obtainable - إن شى الله.
And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.
Being a revert feels like awareness
Awareness of self and your perception of the world as well as the world’s perception of you.
Awareness of how much space Allah سبحانه وتعالى has given you to take up.
Awareness of the impact of your words and actions and the lack of them.
The awareness of your time and energy and how you spend them.
Becoming conscious of the societal rat race they created so that you’d be too drained to question what they say is right for you and too exhausted to worship Allah عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ.
If thou pronounce the word aloud, (it is no matter): for verily He knoweth what is secret and what is yet more hidden.
Being a revert feels like boundaries
Saying no to what’s harmful to your soul and harmful to you and Allah’s relationship.
No more people pleasing at the cost of Allah’s displeasure.
Healthy boundaries create healthy connections to this worldly life.
"But seek, with the (wealth) which Allah has bestowed on thee, the Home of the Hereafter, nor forget thy portion in this world: but do thou good, as Allah has been good to thee, and seek not (occasions for) mischief in the land: for Allah loves not those who do mischief.”
Being a revert feels like expansion
When you open your mind to receive knowledge and truth, Allah سبحانه وتعالى expands it.
When you open your heart despite the pain that comes with heart purification, Allah سبحانه وتعالى expands it.
Whoever takes a path upon which he seeks knowledge, then Allah makes a path to Paradise easy for him. And indeed the angels lower their wings in approval to the one seeking knowledge. Indeed forgiveness is sought for the knowledgeable one by whomever is in the heavens and whomever is in the earth, even the fish in the waters.
Being a revert feels like humility
You’re able to finally accept that perfection is unachievable for you because it’s a quality that Allah سبحانه وتعالى alone possesses.
Ihsan is now the standard not perfection.
Continual progress not definite completion.
Humbly accepting mistakes and the opportunities they bring to get closer to Allah سبحانه وتعالى.
And the servants of (Allah) Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say, "Peace!”
Being a revert feels like spiritual strength training
Preparing you for your next test.
Sharpening your focus.
Solidifying your discipline.
Reiterating your commitment.
Building consistency and persistence.
Rooting you in imaan and tawakkul.
He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is Allah for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.
Being a revert feels like reward
Reward for your trials and suffering.
For your sincere repentance.
For your sacrifices of sleep for salat and wealth for zakat and food for sawm.
Reward for the things and people you’ve lost along the way to Allah سبحانه وتعالى.
For giving from love and not obligation.
For consenting to His Guidance.
For seeking knowledge and then acting on it.
مَا شَاءَ ٱللَّٰهُ
Verily this is a Reward for you, and your Endeavor is accepted and recognized.
Being a revert feels weightless
You no longer have to carry and unpack your baggage and burdens alone.
You don’t have to look for threats, fight the world, and shield yourself all at the same time.
You accept Allah’s Will and trust Him to carry what’s too heavy for you and to guide you through enemy territory because He loves you and for Him it is easy.
اللّٰهُ أكبَر
When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me: Let them also, with a will, Listen to My call, and believe in Me: That they may walk in the right way.
Being a revert feels like home.
Greeted with infinite love, forgiveness, and mercy.
Intended.
Anticipated.
Accepted.
Sheltered.
And you’re so grateful that you weren’t left alone to the evils of this world, unprotected by The Protector -ٱلْمُهَيْمِنُ
From the (earth) did We create you, and into it shall We return you, and from it shall We bring you out once again.
If you’re a revert as well - welcome home ☺️
اللّٰهُ أكبَر
!ٱلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ ٱللَّٰهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ - My name is Khalisa.
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Until next time, إن شى الله
Khalisa.